My head hurts

On Monday Michelle and I took Lola, her pug, to climb Tunnel Mountain, which is a cool mountain hike up one of the highest points in Guilin. It took us like 20 mins to walk to the trail from our apt and then another 35 mins to get to the top. It was an awesome hike through the beautiful tropical forest of Guilin. It looks like the forests you see in movies from Vietnam with tons of bamboo and big fan tropical plants everywhere and really thick woods. They keep the trails real nice. They are actually not trails, there are steps all the way to the top so your climbing stairs the whole way. What a work out that was. I might race to the top twice a week from now on. The mountain we climbed has a birds eye view of Guilin and the surrounding towns. Its really sweet because you can see the farmlands where they grow all the crops we buy at the local markets too. Its also neat to see how they built the city around all the karst mountains and around the Li River. I got some pretty good pics I think even though the clouds were low and the visibility wasnt that good. We timed it so we could watch the sunset at the top and Michelle could do a water sketch of the area. We could also see our apt complex from the top. On one of the previous posts I have a pic of a sunset with a Chinese style building at the top of the mountain. Thats the mountain we climbed and the pic was taken from our apt balcony. The weather has been beautiful the last week with highs around 75 with the sun shining and lows at night in the upper 50's, perfect.

Today I got my leather shoes shined while we were walking around downtown for 5un, less than 1 dollar. He did a real good job too. He was talking to Michelle in Chinese and was telling her that I am so handsome and can get a beautiful Chinese girl soo easy in Guilin. Everyone keeps telling me this but its not as easy as they make it out to be. When I ask how the hell am I supposed to do that when I cant speak Chinese, they say it doesnt matter, just pick one out. What ever that means. Its actually starting to get on my nerves when people tell me this. Girls here are pretty shy and I try to be a gentleman and not just approach them like an asshole. Im not looking for a wife or a girlfriend, per say, but it would be nice to have more girls as friends to hang out with. For some reason Ive always needed to have females around, I guess it keeps me in check somewhat. ??

I am a sucker when it comes to beautiful women though and I usually get taken advantage of I think. It never quite works out the way I imagined it to or how I want it, but what doesnt kill me makes me stronger, right? Not sure if that advice works that well with girls and relationships. I have a guard up now when I meet someone and I have a hard time trusting women, which is never a good thing. So either I put down my guard and leave myself open to more heart break and disappointment or keep my guard up and push away or ruin my chances with good matches because Im too scared or cautious. Even though some think differently of me and would argue it to the grave, I never was big on whoring around or sleeping with tons of girls. Making out is a different story though and I love kissing. Girls in the past have confused the hell out of me and Chinese girls take the cake I think. It seems that my culture and relationship views and that of a Chinese girl are way different and I have to adapt to her ways if it is going to work out. For some reason I dont see that happening for a bunch of reasons. One being that I dont jump head first into relationships anymore, and two being that I have a hard time trusting someone even when I know their past, let alone a girl from another country where I have no idea about her life at all. I hear from people that if your seen out with a certain girl all the time and you go out to dinner or just hang out a lot your considered boyfriend and girlfriend. Not sure how true that is but I also hear that Chinese girls are extremely jealous and thats a major turn off for me. Another turn off is being able to get a beautiful girl soo easy without a chase. I live for the chase I think and me being a foreigner in China might just be a curse for me. Not sure where I was going with this but Im glad I got it out.

When I think about what I will do after my 6 month contract is up at this school I get a head ache. The contract ends May 4th. I want to come back home and visit friends and family for some of the summer, but I feel I will get depressed and be bored back in America if I stay. I am living such a crazy adventure now and it already depresses me thinking one day it will end. May is still a long way away, even though this last month here has flown by, so I need to just chill out and not worry about the future soo much. Thing is I need to save up money and buy a plane ticket home for May if thats when I come back to visit or stay.. ugh whatever, Ill keep ya posted.